There’s a lot you don’t really hear about when you’re getting ready to welcome a child, but it’s not just what your body goes through (gross stuff, if you’re carrying it) or what you give up in your lifestyle (sleep, freedom, maybe some substances). There is woefully inadequate warning about the Gnomie I just want to work on my farm and hang out with my chickens shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this fact that becoming a parent means living with and integrating the fear that your child will die. People vaguely say that raising kids is “scary,” but it’s not just fear that you’ll make mistakes you can’t take back, or that you’ll have to confront your own wounds, both of which are very real and very hard, for sure. The “scary” part of parenting is the supercharging of that base fear we all already know—the fear of death—now externalized, because your own death isn’t the scariest one you can imagine anymore. This fear can be constant and pounding when they’re tiny and helpless, and I gather it winds right back up when they’re testing their independence. But it doesn’t go away in between, and learning to live with and not be decimated by it becomes a big part of the work. My point is: somebody needs to talk about fear of death in the baby books!
Gnomie I just want to work on my farm and hang out with my chickens shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
This last year has brought collective fear and anxiety to heartbreaking levels, with grief and loss crashing in waves upon so many families. Even anyone watching from a relatively safe perch can see the Gnomie I just want to work on my farm and hang out with my chickens shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this further storms on the horizon, particularly the gathering clouds of the climate catastrophe that any sane parent sees threatening their children even more than themselves. Will the pandemic have taught us anything about how to collectivize the fight for the survival of our species? Parents are not the only ones with a stake in the future. As Adrienne Rich wrote in 1996, “this is surely one of the lines on which [Indigenous North American] and Black women have had a very different understanding rooted in their respective community history and values: the shared concern of many members of a group for all its young.”