Let’s be honest: childbearing is sexist. For some reason, our culture has extended that to childrearing as well. And here we are, set back decades in our quest for equality, with more than 156,000 women’s jobs lost (disproportionately those held by women of color in education and hospitality) in the Everyone is a little Irish on St.Patricks day except the Redheads we’re still Redheads shirt and by the same token and US in December, 2020 alone, while men gained 12,000 jobs in the same month.  We know how heavily care responsibilities—with children at home and elders at risk—have fallen on women this year. Are we doomed to the domestic once again, to a near-feudal relation between the sexes? The contemporary expectations of motherhood have been centuries in the making. How fast can we tear them all down? What I appreciated so much about this dress this year was that it flattered what I think of as my Covid figure. Having experienced the body-size ups and downs of two pregnancies and too many years of nursing, I’ve adjusted to just being along for the ride with my body, but that doesn’t mean the ride doesn’t sometimes bring up some unflattering inner stuff.
Everyone is a little Irish on St.Patricks day except the Redheads we’re still Redheads shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
It’s hard for anyone to look in the Everyone is a little Irish on St.Patricks day except the Redheads we’re still Redheads shirt and by the same token and mirror and see change, whether that’s related to size, age, trauma, illness, etc. But I really firmly know that I can’t afford to model toxic self-criticism to my kids, who it devastates me to imagine thinking of themselves as anything less than beautiful and perfect in every way. Nor do I want to model anything that reinforces the messaging they’ll already get from this culture that bigger bodies are less valuable than smaller ones. The strategy 2020 has brought me is to split my inner monologue in two, where the second ‘me’ is actually nice to the other ‘me,’ genuinely valuing ‘me’ and showing ‘me’ the kind of love I hope to show other people in real life. Being kind to yourself? Groundbreaking, I know. But when I say things like “but you’re so cute like this! This dress looks better on you when you’re bigger!” in a soothing tone, I’m actually believing myself. Shout out to everyone on the front lines of the body-positivity and size-acceptance movements for creating and sharing the tools that make this kind of mindset shift possible for so many of us!